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Tuesday, April 7, 2020

10 Cheesy Pick-Up Lines for Writers

There's one in very nightclub. You know the type. That creepy pick-up artist who eyes you from across the bar, cocktail in hand, then sidles up to you, looks you up and down, and says .... 

(Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash)
But no, lose the nightclub. Now you're in a cafe next to a bookstore. And everything about you says "WRITER." That introverted way about you. Glasses. Unassuming clothes. And, of course, an open book or laptop next to your pumpkin spice latte.

And up walks another writer, but instead of a cocktail in his hand it's a cappuccino, and in the other a copy of something pretension enough to worthy deep discussion. Maybe Tolstoy. Maybe The New Yorker. He's got a man bun and an ironic but neatly trimmed beard. A real hipster. The sort who boasts about his Great American Novel but is still searching for that bit of inspiration to get it started.

Then he invites himself to sit at your table, looks you up and down, and says...

10. "I like the curves of your story arc, baby."

9. "This is one conjugation guaranteed to make you comma." 

8. “You’re my climax.” 

7. "If you show, I won't tell."

6. "Ooh! I haven't seen a 'plot' that big since War and Peace."

5. "I've got some Great Expectations for you, with an Oliver Twist!"

4. "I'm plotting a way into your heart."

3. "Wanna see where I put my apostrophe?"

2. "How about we start with some foreshadowing?"

1. "Hey, girl, wanna see what's between my covers?"

and a bonus!

"Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fiiine print."

Do you have another great "writer pick-up line" to contribute? Leave a comment!

Cheers and happy reading!

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